Friends

Had a little talk with Michelle about "friends". Really help me to decide what i should do. Just because A is a friend of both B & C doesn't mean B & C can be friends. By right, i should be happy since my problem has been solved but there is still a tinge of sadness hidden in me. Of course, i don't want to lose a friend, but if being friends is so painful, i rather we forget about each other. I know i am the cause for all this, if only i had watched my actions. How many times have people asked me why am i so nice to a girl? How many times have people asked me if i am NOT afraid i may give others the wrong idea? But this is me, and i won't change who i am. I am not gonna give up being nice to people just because somebody may misunderstand. My care for you is also as true as a friend, i may go out of the way but i don't have other ideas. Just so sorry my care has become a burden too much for you. I understand, it is scary when someone suddenly has so much care for you. We may never be friends but at least we are not enemies. I am thankful i once know you.


P.S.: Every time i log onto Facebook, I look out for your photo on Friends On Chat...

A Long Deserved Break

No mood to blog for a very long time. Since i left Starhub, since Akemi left for Australia, since you've been gone. Back from Taiwan, feeling emotional. Partly regretting not doing more to make this a better trip, another part of me feeling sad that this is how it ends.


Somethings are never meant to be, that's why no matter how hard you try, it is still the same. Just like trying to grow taller when you are already 22-.- Yet, if you never try hard enough, sometimes you may just be a step away from success. One can just say "things are born these way" and take the easy way out. But how many has the courage to make a difference and smile at the end, saying "I have DONE my best"? Yes, it is DONE not TRIED.


P.S.: 我跟你就像大海与天空,乍看之下好像连在一起. 事实上是两条永不相交的平行线.

Poetry of a wimpy kid

I sincerely wish

I could read your mind

Please give me a second

I'm trying to find

Just the right words

that will let you see

how so very special

you are to me

I don't know why

you must talk in code

Every confusing line

puts me in panic mode

If a yes means no

and a no means yes

then maybe means what?

It's a damn linguistics test!


Why can't you simply say
what you really want instead?
The only thing I know:
"Nothing's wrong" means I am dead


So please accept my apology
for a man will be a man
And even though I love you so
some things I'll never understand


So please accept my apology
for a man will be a man
And even though I love you so
some things I'll never understand


-------------------------------------------


I'm not that great to come up with this, just my fortune to chance upon the voices of many hearts.


P.S.: Poetry of a wimpy kid - Leonard Teo

Back to where i belong

Went back to AHS to meet up with Soh, Boss & SK for some 55th anniversary run which we missed. Took 168 to RSS and walked caused my ez-link no money-.-" Walking pass RSS, lots of scenes re-enact in my mind. The times when i always played blind mice at the playground, when i always buy the 10 cents ice pop at the mama shop, when i took bus 17 with a very cute girl. Then, at market 85 i remembered NCC feasting like monsters after CCA day, council having desserts during camps and of course when i was robbed for the first time. At the canteen, saw the veg rice auntie, she was probably too afraid of me since i used to buy $1(rice + 3 veg) worth of food from her. There was a group of boys sliding down from the slope where i used to collect saga seeds. Kinda nice childhood, my dad always tells me about how he slides down those kampong slopes with a cardboard when he was young. I wanna try it 1 day. In the air-con hall, thought of my sec 1 orientation when i looked at my OGLs in awe, never expecting myself to become 1 eventually. In that 4 years, i had more fantastic memories than at any point of my life because i had friends. Friends, a group of people who i have grown so dependent on. Maybe cause my current friends have been so great that i have failed to embrace new ones, or the other way round. I feel lost typing this post like i don't know what i wanna say. Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical. More memories of childhood, trying to go back in time now that you have grown up. Yet, longing to grow up when you were just a kid. If only source code exist in this world.


P.S.: Things will never be the same again

Goodbye

People are all good by nature, we just need to learn to look at their good side when they show us their wrong side. I still remember when Tar Hau first came i thought he a bit weird weird but generally still okay to work along. Until he decided to pull some stunt den i a bit pissed. But thinking back, he is really okay as in he is not like Alan who always complains this and that or Parry who is the ultimate weirdo. Tar Hau is eccentric but still at an acceptable level, after all if i can tahan eccentric Soh for 10 years, what's a few months with Tar Hau?! Just that, yesterday i was standing at info counter and looking at Tar Hau walked by. Felt a little emo he was the last guy to go home cause he went to buy nuggets for us without writing his timesheet first and yet i think no one said a simple thank you to him. When you think about the person, don't always think of the bad points but rather think of the good/sweet things that he has done. I'm still learning how to do that cause i always ignore my mother's nagging but when i look at her from afar, i feel my heart aching. I know i'm unfilial but i really really tried to listen to her, just that in my childhood family wasn't that close to me. I also want to have a family day every week, family trip every year and family meal everyday. I just don't have the luxury. Now i took an extra year before i can independently support them, feel so sorry for letting them down. I'm their pride when i got into AHS, when i got into TJC, when i got into OCS but now, there doesn't seem to be anything much for them to be proud of. Friends and relatives asking if i have girlfriend, even my grandpa tease me about it. Maybe he just wanna have a great grandson, but i shall leave that task to my cousin, Wan Yin!!! Even my "Good" friends are teasing me, asking me to fall in love with each other. Are my terms & conditions that bad that you think i will not have a girlfriend??? Time for some love from my mother, curry chicken(even though my throat just recovered) LOL!!!


A little story to share: Nails in the fence


There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there.


P.S.: No more hello, no more goodbye, no more smile