Pissed in tar

Today, lots of things happened. Not very happy stuff. Have not been able to skype with Jem for at least a week. HPY getting stressed about exams, even i share her anxiety. Fell on my butt thrice @ PPT. Struggles going on emotionally. Disharmony @ work. At the end of the day, just smile and bring it over.

Jem, i hope you are doing great. My erratic timing is hard to match but seeing your photos in FB i guess you are fine. The other day when i went to NTU, i really hope i will be accepted into NIE cause i will finally get the chance to go to school with you! Kept thinking back of AH & JC days, so much to talk about. Don't know to look forward to Taiwan or fear that it will come too soon. Whatever it is, i hope to see you soon. Maybe i need your advice again, been too long since i hear some LAO REN YAN to keep me sane & sound=p

To my hpy who is like so stressed, i feel your stress and negative thoughts but give yourself a break. I don't know what you are studying & of course i can't give you advice cause i haven't been there done that but don't fear. Fear is the worst enemy you can have. A warrior fights best when he thinks that he is already dead. I serve Starhub best when i'm not afraid of getting sack!!! Haha a bit no link but you know what i mean. I help you ZHUANG DAN, *pat your back*

Straight to the point i don't wanna hide. Today Leong happily ate his subway while watching TV and chatting with Akemi. Suddenly, he told me, "eh yao bu yao gen ta men jiang yi sia ah?" pointing to the upgrade forms not sorted on the table. I went in to check who is doing CPE & informed them. Celine came out telling all temp staffs to go home @ 10pm, Leong happily told her CPE haven't tally yet, still munching his sandwich. What the fuck has CPE tally got to do with you when you are freaking eating your life away? If you have to cheek to say CPE no tally, why the fuck do you ask me such a rhetorical question? Your attitude in work disgrace you as a person & i despise you no less than the irresponsible people i'm working along. To be honest, Leong, Tar Hau & Parry, you people piss me off. Nikolas, I'm kinda disappointed with you. Managers, I'm even more so disappointed at whoever employed these people. You think Wee Seng, Wee Beng and Yong Guan suit the job? Even Michelle is a gamble. What happened to people like Nicholas Neo, Tan Jian Rong & Alex Yow??? Extinct ah? Blood boiling ah buay tahan. Enough.

Wah, i don't know what to say. A lot of feelings i wanna express but this hectic lifestyle doesn't allow me to take time off to speak. Worst of all, i can meet no one to air my thoughts. I'm exasperated, speaking to stubborn people. Told my dad Totti is an Italian he freaking repeated 3 times that he is a Paraguayan!!! WTF??? Why don't you trust me, who have been playing FM since there was CM3?! I was agitated to the point i told him, "i told you how many times already, he is an ITALIAN!" Didn't meant to be rude but really I'm losing my cool especially after a hiccup @ work that day. Really like 1 phrase my friend always says, buay kia lang dulan! Needless to say about customers, just wasting my breath. I will die a lot younger trying to put my point to you, who's mind is completely shut! Please, willingness to learn is a virtue even the greatest Man should have. If you think you are so damn good & almighty then forget it, i don't want this kinda friends. I can accept friends who are selfish, i can accept friends who have low esteem but i can't accept people who think that they are too good to listen to others. Sorry to my family & friends who i have selfishly vent my frustration on, i'm really losing my cool. Someone, if you have the time, just drop me a text and i will be grateful. That excludes you Jem & HPY, cause 1 is in Taiwan, the other has better things to worry about. A good listener is someone i need, don't have to say anything. Just listen to me open my heart. I hope it's you who approach me. I will never give up. Kobayakawa Sena, Manchester United & John Stanley Wisnioski, you guys taught me to never give up!

P.S.: Lost without you                                               - Delta Goodrem

PPT

Today, went for PPT @ NIE. Great experience, hopefully i pass and get into NIE & start my exciting uni life. I see some weird people there but with me around, weird people will also learn to be normal!

Anyway, reason i want to blog is actually cause of this song that my friend recommended me few years back, it's called Because I'm A Girl. This song has no meaning if you do not watch the video cause it is in korean. For my HPY though, please stay clear of this video as you will clearly break down if you watch. The MV is about how this couple met by chance but got separated in the end due to a freak accident. Though they didn't die, they lead a life worst than death. The girl got blind partly due to the guy's fault, thus, he gave up everything(his love for photography, racing & his eyes) for the girl to regain her eyesight. Initially, i really felt that this guy's love for her must be incredible(even though it is just a MV) but on second thought, it may out of responsibility that he did that. With all due respect, i still admire a person who is willing to make such a sacrifice for the person he loves no matter what the reason is because for one, i'm not prepared to make that sacrifice now. The big decision to give up a normal life, the ability to see your loved ones and your love for her. Immense, emotions-flood after watching it.


Then again, 施比受更有福, to love someone may be better than being loved cause sometimes you can really suffocate in other's love. It is a great thing to be able to love someone too, some don't even have the courage to do so. Which idiot wouldn't wanna be loved the way he/she loves others? But not everyone shares the same love language and whether you understand your spouse's may determine the outcome of the relationship. Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, act of service and physical touch, which is yours? Of course everyone would like a little bit of everything but there has to be 1 that will work wonder for you. Food for thought.


alex: i will be gone by then lo, hopefully i will be getting all excited about uni then


P.S.: Love is not mathematics, you can't measure how much you give and expect the same will return. Love is from the heart<3

Confused

Today, i went back to work feeling like army days - not getting the support from higher HQ. Oh well, gonna be gone soon so let's not bother. Anyway i thought about things & decided not to get angry over stupid people & stuff. They won't know i'm angry and my anger won't get things done. Instead, i'm gonna smile all day long from now on! As they say, 笑里藏刀, i will qing qiang 杀 all obstacles in front of me!!!


And so, on Thursday i went to Expo, Toy's'rus & IKEA. Feels damn good to be back in the east, really my home man. Tampines Mall is like AHS territory sia, no matter how much it changes i still know where the shops are, not like Vivocity. Back to childhood @ Toy's'rus but i can't find RISK, you mean kids these days don't play that???!!! Always love shopping @ IKEA cause all the designs are what makes an ideal home. Too bad i don't have a car plus i was  really tired, otherwise i would have gotten more stuff & shop @ Giant as well!!! Oh did i not mention this was all with my HPY, Yang Fanglin??? Who took some unglam but very artistic photos of me=)) Due to my lack of sleep, got easily shag out, decided to head back home without chilling out. I know you know i tired but i really can't be bothered to act like i ain't cause i'm too tired la, i think you know haha. Now here's the highlight of the day, i carried this mini table all the way back home to realize i forgot my keys. Best of all, my mummy is @ my grandma's place in Tiong Bahru playing mahjong. I almost wanted to set up the new table & stool i bought outside my house but on second thought, the void deck probably has better ventilation. Fortunately, was at NTUC shopping & bought a drink & chocolate. WOOSH! Thinking back, i think i'm super unfilial to make my mother travel all the way back for me & i even whine to her that i have a lot of stuff when she suggested i go to my ah ma's place. Sorry mummy but i really very tired. Still love you=)) Luckily, nice mummy brought delicious home-cooked food from ah ma's house. Sambal chilli prawn, dark sauce pork, forgot what veg she got. Simple but nice, if my future spouse can do that i will be her slave man=p However, happiness was not to last. Diarrhoea reported to me the next day early morning. Probably due to the oily & spicy sambal. Oh well, i didn't regret eating those delicacy though!






I'm still clinging on to this little hope and fantasy that it may just work out, it may just come true. Dare to dream. I'm still waiting, waiting for the right time to take my chance. If you ask me, i would rather risk doing something i may regret than regretting not doing anything. Will you wait with me?


P.S.: I'm everything i am because you loved me

Disappointed

Today, i woke up disappointed. You should know why. Boring and quiet day at home. Diarrhoea spoils my day. Took the zeal out of me to blog but i really want to blog given how tired i had been and how Starhub has taken the shit out of me till i look so freaking damn cui now. I need to air some thoughts.


Firstly, i have been damn pissed off with the fact that i was recalled on 12/03/2011 due to someone's wisdom tooth appointment, which was booked before he even got a replacement. Meaning, he forced the manager into a situation where she had to get staffs to cover for him, not the staff himself searching. Now tell me, WHICH PART OF THIS FUCKING ARRANGEMENT SOUNDS LOGICAL? Most of all, i think the staff is FUCKING irresponsible and how can a manager allow this to happen? This ARSEHOLE still has to cheek to tell me, "i can't tell her(manager) that you are on standby this Saturday right? If not, she will definitely recall you." FUCK TO YOU UNDERSTAND!!! Don't act 1 kind, it is damn disgusting. I promise i won't entertain you from now on, screw off.


Suddenly, i lost the feel to blog again. Still, somethings to share. Thank you HPY, i saw your name on your blog, you should know what i'm referring to. Thank you Ms Yeo, for giving me the good news last night and cheering me up. Looking forward to seeing you! Thank you Cherry, for that cute pooh, how i wish i could hug it when you are not around.


Recently been damn emo, losing my cool and getting too subjective. Hope it's just the effect of watching too much Band of Brothers, makes your blood boils man. Now that i have finished watching, may the good old days of SAJC, where i did not spill a single vulgarity, returns!!! WOOSH!!! This exclamation has become my pet phrase after LOL=)


Days alone like today sucks & i realize i don't like the 18th of every month, i just don't feel right or bad things happen. The results of the uni application better not be out on the 18th.


Oh oh oh, forgot to congratulate Cynthia "Bieber" on finally turning 21. Don't know if you will see this but had hell of a blast at your party. Kinda felt bad about imposing at your place till late and disturbing your neighbour but WOOSH that was fun! Let's have another gathering soon!


P.S.: What are you talking about? We are paratroopers, we are meant to be surrounded.                                                - Maj Winters

my time is almost up

Today, i met a customer who brought her Sanyo air-con remote to return with her cable tv. Her face when she realized that was really FML face of the year. As Fatsoh would say, gong kui yi kui.


Anyway, the title of this post isn't saying that i'm about to die, more of my time at Starhub has come to an end. 光阴似箭，日月如梭, now is my turn to say good bye. 天下无不散之筵席, eventually people got to part. I am not going to be some drama-mama, hopefully i can quietly take my leave=)) Tentatively, i set the date as 24/04/201, let's see if there is any reason for me to stay longer.


Actually i wanted to blog cause of a SMS. Your sms really has magical power, now i can't sleep! WAH SWEET TTM!!! I'm getting diabetes... But i don't mind being sick cause you can take care of me=p


Renee: eh aunty, stop laughing la. I don't get what's so funny! When are we deluxing again?
HPY: haha the future is ours to make!


P.S.: Sometimes life was cruelly taken away too soon, but it's what you did with it that counted, not how long it lasted    - Cecelia Ahern

HPY Day

Today, i blog for the first time in a week. This post is backdated to 27/02/2011, the day that my HPY left Starhub. Thinking back, she joined Starhub at about the same time as me, with Keliu. Now, 1 by 1 they are all gone. It is the time to say goodbye. From the day Alex, my shifu, left... I knew this day would come.


Now, no one to approve waiver for me instantly.
No one to wait for me for lunch even if i get delayed.
No one to take care of my itouch & smurfs for me.
No one to steal my gold.
No one to let me win in high noon just to make me happy.
No one to let me call noob.
No one to "hur hur hur" & let me make fun of.
No one to make me go into the BE room for.
No one to share my funny encounters with customer in the BE room.
No one to "buy tickets" to go toilet with.
No one to help me remap SIM & check HLR.
No one to punch my card for me.
No one to buy me food knowing that i will be hungry cause of early lunch.
No one to give me that 70 cents expression.
No one to give me morning call.
No one to sms SMRT to tell them off on sending their non-service train.
No one to try to guess my passcode & get it wrong, waiting for minutes before trying again. And guess what? IT IS WRONG AGAIN!!!
No more HPY in Starhub.


When Alex left, i was sad cause someone who can click with me so well left. Then, slowly Cheng Teck follow suit and Nic + Chan Hui as well. Esther was the most recent & i swear that breakfast was the heaviest i ever had. Not the quantity but the mood. Didn't really want to have that breakfast cause don't want her to go but as if that is going to make her stay. Eventually, it was this girl who has evolved into my HPY that is leaving too. Of all the good byes i had to say, this is the toughest. I vividly remember everything that happened that day.


I woke up super early for a morning jog @ 7am to the most familiar ringtone & delivered the most energetic "good morning"! Arrived at work and WOAH, sandwiches in my locker! Colleen asked me if my mummy made those & i proudly said, "Fanglin made them for me"=)) She act 1 jealous with a "how come i don't have?" LOL although not the first time someone cooked/prepared a meal for me but i finished it because i see the effort! Keep going into BE room so that i can disturb my HPY but time flew by so fast and soon we were taking photos, eating ice creams, writing cards, typing notes and saying good byes... Everything seems fine, a little bit of crying from the cry baby and we all went home. Who knows there was more drama to follow. What happened shall only be known between us so don't worry, i won't tell others=p (me very smart hor?)


All the little post-its, radio dedications, handmade gifts, introducing me to new friends(Jas/FY/Leo) You are an incredible friend, doing so much for me even though i had never made you a handmade gift, always bully you and couldn't get you that poster! I really don't understand why you were so adamant to bring me to JJ's autograph session & party, even till now. Still, seeing you that happy & blushing even before i asked you not to, i guessed it is worthwhile LOL. Thus, on this day, 27.02.2011, it is HPY Day. This post is dedicated to you.


P.S.: Your thoughts amazed me because of all the sacrifices you made.