April Fools' Day

Okay it is 02/04/2011, God, you can stop pulling pranks on me and just tell me, "it's an april fools' joke," a really bad one...


A lizard dropped onto my hair while i was reaching my lift, scare me & caused me to miss my lift. I ended up taking the same lift as the bloody indian who stays at level 2. Nobody will understand this story, nobody...

HTHT

Had a good talk with Jem, though there is really really a lot more to tell you but we'll wait for a better time. Thanks for making me laugh with you though mostly it is at you haha. Hopefully i can successfully install my router soon, then we can SKYPE more often. Oh and if i'm still single by 28, you got to take responsibility k? I don't mind being the xiao de LOL MUAHAHA!!! Eh, remember to open your heart!

Anyway, my latest thought - withstanding the test of a quarrel is more important than whether you can click. If you are able to maintain a close relationship after a quarrel, then the quarrel has served its purpose of bringing you closer. Otherwise, a shattered glass will never be the same again. Some relationships wouldn't even allow a small bickering, while others need to be fuel by quarrels. Of course, who likes to be quarreling? But, if it makes you realize how important this person means to you, why not?

Thanks to friends who have been asking about why i am so emo. Jem who says that i looked like someone about to commit suicide on SKYPE. FL who sends me messages after messages to cheer me up. Yvonne & Peiyu who keeps reminding me that i look emo & having PMS. Kwang for waking up so early to surprise me. Don't worry, i have been the happy-go-lucky type but i need some time to sort things out and clear all the shit. I'm like that when i'm stressed, too serious=S

I kinda miss having something scribbled on my arms, even though i always act like i totally don't want to. It's like a little memory that we share with each other. How i wish i could bite everyone's arm, leaving my mark behind=P Funny cravings, i wanna play soccer, basketball, mahjong and badminton!!! Time to sleep... SnorezZz...

P.S.: 鱼与熊掌不可兼得

Pissed in tar

Today, lots of things happened. Not very happy stuff. Have not been able to skype with Jem for at least a week. HPY getting stressed about exams, even i share her anxiety. Fell on my butt thrice @ PPT. Struggles going on emotionally. Disharmony @ work. At the end of the day, just smile and bring it over.

Jem, i hope you are doing great. My erratic timing is hard to match but seeing your photos in FB i guess you are fine. The other day when i went to NTU, i really hope i will be accepted into NIE cause i will finally get the chance to go to school with you! Kept thinking back of AH & JC days, so much to talk about. Don't know to look forward to Taiwan or fear that it will come too soon. Whatever it is, i hope to see you soon. Maybe i need your advice again, been too long since i hear some LAO REN YAN to keep me sane & sound=p

To my hpy who is like so stressed, i feel your stress and negative thoughts but give yourself a break. I don't know what you are studying & of course i can't give you advice cause i haven't been there done that but don't fear. Fear is the worst enemy you can have. A warrior fights best when he thinks that he is already dead. I serve Starhub best when i'm not afraid of getting sack!!! Haha a bit no link but you know what i mean. I help you ZHUANG DAN, *pat your back*

Straight to the point i don't wanna hide. Today Leong happily ate his subway while watching TV and chatting with Akemi. Suddenly, he told me, "eh yao bu yao gen ta men jiang yi sia ah?" pointing to the upgrade forms not sorted on the table. I went in to check who is doing CPE & informed them. Celine came out telling all temp staffs to go home @ 10pm, Leong happily told her CPE haven't tally yet, still munching his sandwich. What the fuck has CPE tally got to do with you when you are freaking eating your life away? If you have to cheek to say CPE no tally, why the fuck do you ask me such a rhetorical question? Your attitude in work disgrace you as a person & i despise you no less than the irresponsible people i'm working along. To be honest, Leong, Tar Hau & Parry, you people piss me off. Nikolas, I'm kinda disappointed with you. Managers, I'm even more so disappointed at whoever employed these people. You think Wee Seng, Wee Beng and Yong Guan suit the job? Even Michelle is a gamble. What happened to people like Nicholas Neo, Tan Jian Rong & Alex Yow??? Extinct ah? Blood boiling ah buay tahan. Enough.

Wah, i don't know what to say. A lot of feelings i wanna express but this hectic lifestyle doesn't allow me to take time off to speak. Worst of all, i can meet no one to air my thoughts. I'm exasperated, speaking to stubborn people. Told my dad Totti is an Italian he freaking repeated 3 times that he is a Paraguayan!!! WTF??? Why don't you trust me, who have been playing FM since there was CM3?! I was agitated to the point i told him, "i told you how many times already, he is an ITALIAN!" Didn't meant to be rude but really I'm losing my cool especially after a hiccup @ work that day. Really like 1 phrase my friend always says, buay kia lang dulan! Needless to say about customers, just wasting my breath. I will die a lot younger trying to put my point to you, who's mind is completely shut! Please, willingness to learn is a virtue even the greatest Man should have. If you think you are so damn good & almighty then forget it, i don't want this kinda friends. I can accept friends who are selfish, i can accept friends who have low esteem but i can't accept people who think that they are too good to listen to others. Sorry to my family & friends who i have selfishly vent my frustration on, i'm really losing my cool. Someone, if you have the time, just drop me a text and i will be grateful. That excludes you Jem & HPY, cause 1 is in Taiwan, the other has better things to worry about. A good listener is someone i need, don't have to say anything. Just listen to me open my heart. I hope it's you who approach me. I will never give up. Kobayakawa Sena, Manchester United & John Stanley Wisnioski, you guys taught me to never give up!

P.S.: Lost without you                                               - Delta Goodrem

PPT

Today, went for PPT @ NIE. Great experience, hopefully i pass and get into NIE & start my exciting uni life. I see some weird people there but with me around, weird people will also learn to be normal!

Anyway, reason i want to blog is actually cause of this song that my friend recommended me few years back, it's called Because I'm A Girl. This song has no meaning if you do not watch the video cause it is in korean. For my HPY though, please stay clear of this video as you will clearly break down if you watch. The MV is about how this couple met by chance but got separated in the end due to a freak accident. Though they didn't die, they lead a life worst than death. The girl got blind partly due to the guy's fault, thus, he gave up everything(his love for photography, racing & his eyes) for the girl to regain her eyesight. Initially, i really felt that this guy's love for her must be incredible(even though it is just a MV) but on second thought, it may out of responsibility that he did that. With all due respect, i still admire a person who is willing to make such a sacrifice for the person he loves no matter what the reason is because for one, i'm not prepared to make that sacrifice now. The big decision to give up a normal life, the ability to see your loved ones and your love for her. Immense, emotions-flood after watching it.


Then again, 施比受更有福, to love someone may be better than being loved cause sometimes you can really suffocate in other's love. It is a great thing to be able to love someone too, some don't even have the courage to do so. Which idiot wouldn't wanna be loved the way he/she loves others? But not everyone shares the same love language and whether you understand your spouse's may determine the outcome of the relationship. Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, act of service and physical touch, which is yours? Of course everyone would like a little bit of everything but there has to be 1 that will work wonder for you. Food for thought.


alex: i will be gone by then lo, hopefully i will be getting all excited about uni then


P.S.: Love is not mathematics, you can't measure how much you give and expect the same will return. Love is from the heart<3

Confused

Today, i went back to work feeling like army days - not getting the support from higher HQ. Oh well, gonna be gone soon so let's not bother. Anyway i thought about things & decided not to get angry over stupid people & stuff. They won't know i'm angry and my anger won't get things done. Instead, i'm gonna smile all day long from now on! As they say, 笑里藏刀, i will qing qiang 杀 all obstacles in front of me!!!


And so, on Thursday i went to Expo, Toy's'rus & IKEA. Feels damn good to be back in the east, really my home man. Tampines Mall is like AHS territory sia, no matter how much it changes i still know where the shops are, not like Vivocity. Back to childhood @ Toy's'rus but i can't find RISK, you mean kids these days don't play that???!!! Always love shopping @ IKEA cause all the designs are what makes an ideal home. Too bad i don't have a car plus i was  really tired, otherwise i would have gotten more stuff & shop @ Giant as well!!! Oh did i not mention this was all with my HPY, Yang Fanglin??? Who took some unglam but very artistic photos of me=)) Due to my lack of sleep, got easily shag out, decided to head back home without chilling out. I know you know i tired but i really can't be bothered to act like i ain't cause i'm too tired la, i think you know haha. Now here's the highlight of the day, i carried this mini table all the way back home to realize i forgot my keys. Best of all, my mummy is @ my grandma's place in Tiong Bahru playing mahjong. I almost wanted to set up the new table & stool i bought outside my house but on second thought, the void deck probably has better ventilation. Fortunately, was at NTUC shopping & bought a drink & chocolate. WOOSH! Thinking back, i think i'm super unfilial to make my mother travel all the way back for me & i even whine to her that i have a lot of stuff when she suggested i go to my ah ma's place. Sorry mummy but i really very tired. Still love you=)) Luckily, nice mummy brought delicious home-cooked food from ah ma's house. Sambal chilli prawn, dark sauce pork, forgot what veg she got. Simple but nice, if my future spouse can do that i will be her slave man=p However, happiness was not to last. Diarrhoea reported to me the next day early morning. Probably due to the oily & spicy sambal. Oh well, i didn't regret eating those delicacy though!






I'm still clinging on to this little hope and fantasy that it may just work out, it may just come true. Dare to dream. I'm still waiting, waiting for the right time to take my chance. If you ask me, i would rather risk doing something i may regret than regretting not doing anything. Will you wait with me?


P.S.: I'm everything i am because you loved me