Goodbye

People are all good by nature, we just need to learn to look at their good side when they show us their wrong side. I still remember when Tar Hau first came i thought he a bit weird weird but generally still okay to work along. Until he decided to pull some stunt den i a bit pissed. But thinking back, he is really okay as in he is not like Alan who always complains this and that or Parry who is the ultimate weirdo. Tar Hau is eccentric but still at an acceptable level, after all if i can tahan eccentric Soh for 10 years, what's a few months with Tar Hau?! Just that, yesterday i was standing at info counter and looking at Tar Hau walked by. Felt a little emo he was the last guy to go home cause he went to buy nuggets for us without writing his timesheet first and yet i think no one said a simple thank you to him. When you think about the person, don't always think of the bad points but rather think of the good/sweet things that he has done. I'm still learning how to do that cause i always ignore my mother's nagging but when i look at her from afar, i feel my heart aching. I know i'm unfilial but i really really tried to listen to her, just that in my childhood family wasn't that close to me. I also want to have a family day every week, family trip every year and family meal everyday. I just don't have the luxury. Now i took an extra year before i can independently support them, feel so sorry for letting them down. I'm their pride when i got into AHS, when i got into TJC, when i got into OCS but now, there doesn't seem to be anything much for them to be proud of. Friends and relatives asking if i have girlfriend, even my grandpa tease me about it. Maybe he just wanna have a great grandson, but i shall leave that task to my cousin, Wan Yin!!! Even my "Good" friends are teasing me, asking me to fall in love with each other. Are my terms & conditions that bad that you think i will not have a girlfriend??? Time for some love from my mother, curry chicken(even though my throat just recovered) LOL!!!


A little story to share: Nails in the fence


There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there.


P.S.: No more hello, no more goodbye, no more smile

Memories

My time at Starhub feels like a dejavu to me, like when i was in primary school. It is like a cycle, i hope what follows is as exciting as my secondary school days. And i hope i can know another "Jem".

Peaceful day

I forgo my pride this once but i will treasure myself more. Someone once told me that it is important to preserve your pride and not always give in. I thought, why not take a step back and the world is a better place. Now i concede, cause by doing so you are just running away from the problem and not solving it. It will come back to haunt you.

Got a good tan today, no hot babes but a lot of small kids to create some chaos out of my otherwise peaceful day LOL. Swam for an hour before heading to SIM for my uni application. Then to Tiong Bahru for Source Code=)) It's a movie i have been tracking since last year when i saw it on IMDB. Good movie, kinda touching towards the end but i can never understand how the guy fell in love with the girl in a few 8mins. First time watching a movie by myself, LOL i recall telling Shi Min i will never watch a movie alone, never say never! Oh and when the girl selling tickets heard me buying a ticket she was like, "1 ticket?" I bet she was thinking, "how can a cute guy like him be watching movie alone? I wish i could watch with him!!!" Anyway something funny happened at the NTUC while i was waiting for the show to start. Still coughing, i went to get some lozenges and was browsing through the shelves when i heard a loud "Zhao"! My instinct was, "what the hell, even at this place there is someone who knows me?!" My shock was met by a couple of girls who was actually making their way out-.- I thought i how famous sia.

Peaceful day, wanted to visit my grandparents but was a little late after the movie. Next week perhaps, i'm missing everyone a little. Oh by the way, Jem, happy meeting Say Hwee!!! I don't know if you are too busy to skype but it is okay, i'm not really in the mood to skype now if you know what i mean. Can always drop me an email or msn me=)

P.S.: If you have just less than a minute to live, what would you do?

Song of your heart

I need to recount my "adventure" on 21/04/2011. Absolutely the most unlucky day of my life this year. Woke up by the stinging sound of my ringtone instead of my alarm & i knew i was recalled. Then, nik decides to be nice & not ask me cover him not knowing i already left house without my cousins' presents & stuff for rest of the day. Anyway, thanks to him hanging in there. Went Bedok for breakfast & swim but so coincidentally, the pool wasn't open till evening time!!! So i decided to go Tampines to swim and lucky me forgot my goggles. Rush back home to get presents & meet my cousin, Wan Yin, to pass her presents for her & Wan Xuan. Had a decent lunch at Holland V, my first time trying Mexican food. Portion and flavor much to my liking. Okay maybe the only good thing about that day was the food. Updated Wan Yin about my life and also learn about her interesting pilot-boyfriend. What a dream, to be a pilot. Next, went to meet SK at NUS where i alighted at the wrong stop only to walk up a slope. I know i fit la, but the day just seems to get shittier. Follow SK home and htht along the way, been long since we hang out especially with Fat-Soh slumbering into some kinda depression. Me becoming a slave for money/Starhub, SK & Mao managing their studies and relationships, our gang haven't been meeting for El Clasicos and late night matches. Emo. Carrying on, we went to Tampines SAFRA to play pool but so many people we thought no hope when the uncle asked us to write our name to book after like 15-20min. Had he asked us earlier we would be playing but also our fault not to asked. Walked around the whole SAFRA also cannot find any ATMs, WTH??? Luckily, saw this girl with a not-bad back view, *Beethoven* but she never turned around. Apparently she just finished a game of squash, i think sporty girls exude great charisma. Woosh! Anyway, we went back to see the queue and indeed we were next but it's gonna take at least another hour cause all the tables were full and the next group to leave were the ones before us. Demoralized to the max, we walked to Tampines Interchange and chilled at Starbucks. Left @ 1030pm to take bus only to miss my bus, waited like quite long so i decided to cab. The moment i cross the road to flag cab, all the cabs in the world disappear; my bus came. Apparently i wasn't unlucky enough, people started to hijack cabs in front of me till the point i gave up on cab. My bus finally came, that was 1115pm!!! Luckily SK waited with me along the way and consoled me. Thanks SK, for making the wasted trip with me=p Ran home even though i was in my Fred Perry shoes(sorry Michelle=p) Cab down to ECP Cage for some midnight futsal. This is the highlight of my suayness man. My $125++ predator pulse splits into 2 at the arch of my foot as i ran. Unknowingly my stuts were all broken! Then Soon Tat returned me my other pair of boots and same thing, it broke after a few runs. This Tiempo accompanied me since secondary school and although it is cheaper, i prefer it to the predator. Just like that, 200++ flew away, heartaches... Okay that sums up my ultimate unlucky day, but luckily there was a message to cheer me up that night=D

Feeling nostalgic, started listening to the 90s. Started with this song from bsb, Shape of My Heart, like the chorus. Then, N Sync, my favorite band! Share a trivial - N Sync was formed by the last letter of the first name of the members. Cool eh? This I Promise You has got to be my favorite song, remember that Jem! LOL

Anyway was sms-ing HPY when i realized, i have no female friends with those sizzling hot looks or figures. No offence but really, i think about it and, yea i continue thinking. Pretty friends a lot, my "mother" Janet is a beauty. Monday, saw her in manager room and she gave me her brightest smile man, honestly i got "dian" by her! 31 still pretty as ever, if only she doesn't slouch. Been long since she last smiled like that, hope the new staffs don't give anymore problem, Sandra don't throw more spanner and she lives happily ever after with Jeff. Thought Monday was a good day cause not much crowd, was back to Standing counter with Ronn & Fang Ying. I can only say i was disappointed, was i too slack yet expecting too much?


Just saw a post regarding a lonely baleen whale singing at a frequency higher than what it's specie can hear, thus, it has no family, friends, lover, gang or group. The poor whale has been tracked since 1992 and till now it is still alone. If any human under the same predicament, he/she probably died of depression in 1993. Read a blog that says animals in the wild do not suffer depression like humans. They don't turn suicidal cause they don't have friends and stuff. That whale must be damn optimistic or lucky, wish that it will finally find a friend. Loneliness is my most dreaded foe.

Just had a HTHT with Pei Yu at kopitiam, miss this kinda spontaneous late night meet ups that i thought was only possible in Bedok. Chat about the usual stuff and 1 thing she said struck me hard, that shall be my P.S. note for this post. I HATE SMS, WHOEVER INVENTED IT, I'M NOT GONNA THANK YOU. Random.

P.S.: 我们要更爱自己(我们要懂得自爱)

Emo

Went for dinner with my uncle-cum-godfather, cousin & grandma and my family. Didn't go to the Nakhon Kitchen as intended but to a Hong Street Zichar Restaurant at Eastwood Road. In the land of my hometown, everything is nice=)) As we were eating, i realized i'm truly my father's son. As in, cause i don't like to kiap food for people-think it is too formal & fake-and there my father was kiap-ing food for the entire table while i was chanting in my heart "don't kiap for me"! Don't know telepathy or what, he finally turned to me and said with the damn cool voice, "eh boy, 你自己拿hor?" For a moment, he was like the Bruce Willis of "Die Hard 4" and Liam Neeson of "Taken", i look at him with admiration. My dad and i really think alike man, like father like son. No wonder i so handsome!!!


I was watching 一代女王 and they were talking about joining this positive 无可救药积极正面思考团 cult. Talking about how those people with suicidal thoughts or depression became positive about life. Something they said struck me strongly-a pair of good friends lost their friendship cause of jealousy. Makes me think of a lot of people like Ming Wei, Jem and even Eloise. Ming Wei, was like my identical twin, likes soccer, joined NCC & council, study same subjects, joined Furnix blah blah blah. I got to admit i was jealous of him cause i was living in his shadow. Oh well, glad it's over. As for Jem, i'm just glad we are still friends=)) Till the day that i can entrust my faith in someone, maybe i'm not ready to enter a relationship.


Browsing through facebook, don't know how just wander to Michelle's page. Photos of her classmates reminded me of the times she shared with me about them. Really missed the days when i could readily ask her out for a game of pool or just to go to ECP and stroll. Still keeping the tissue she folded for me although that $2 heart was lost in a cab when i went bugis 3 years back. Then again, seeing how happy she is now & how much she has changed, smile & move on=D Moving on by Toya is a song that really helped me, still remembered i first heard it in NYDC with Soh, SK & Mao cause of Mao's imba voucher.


Tomorrow is gonna be a super shag day and i'm still not sleeping. Got to hit the bed soon. Good night everybody, oh ya, to those who are reading this, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUBLICIZE MY BLOG!*you know who you are*


P.S.: If my life were a song, what song would it be.


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